Bagpiping at Funerals: Through the Honor and the Tears
I have played the great Scottish Highland bagpipes for hundreds of memorials over the years. It might seem like a depressing or morbid endeavor, but for me, it is a distinct honor to dignify someone’s memory by performing this noble music. The mourners always recognize me first. There is no place to hide when you are the only one in a crowd wearing the Scottish kilt. I enter this ritual event employed and invited to witness a person’s final chapter. I have the privilege to play a role in a moment that is about more than just music. By just being there, the piper lends comfort and strength in moments of grief.
To begin with, my arrival in Highland dress with a strange-looking instrument usually provides a welcome moment of levity. There are probably no piping jokes that I have not already heard. I recognize their value. Oscar Wilde had some superb quips about piping. Sometimes I share one that I remember. I have often exchanged a joke with formidable grown men wearing suits. They slap me on the back with a smile and offer me a glass of water or a stick of gum; later, they weep like little children as I play “Amazing Grace” alongside their dad’s casket. Human nature does not change. In the ancient world funerals were attended by professional mourners who loudly wailed to encourage others to release their own emotions. In Europe until the beginning of the 20th Century, another important profession associated with funerals was that of the Mute. The Mute stood silently as a type of symbolic protector of the deceased; normally stationed near the door, wearing black clothing and a melancholy expression. My role as piper is an enduring part of that legacy: to dignify the service by standing silently; when called-upon, to give voice through the pipes to the grief that is felt, enabling the survivors to begin to let go.
There is an almost typical, recurring pattern to most memorials, like a script, but there are also those exceptional situations. I remember some beautiful services where doves were released, filling the blue sky with an explosion of white wings while I piped. I recall a particular service that was held outdoors at night. On that occasion I played “Amazing Grace” followed by the famous pipe march, “Scotland the Brave.” At the start of the march, over a hundred people individually released large white balloons which seemed to shimmer in the darkness, rising in a symbolic farewell. More challenging are sudden tragedies like the death of a child. One such day lingers in my memory. The parents leaned against each other as if piled in a heap next to the little coffin in the children’s section of the cemetery. The wind came up as I played. I felt objects knocking against my ankles and strained to look down for a moment as I kept playing. The wind was blowing toys from the other children’s graves around my feet, entangling me. It was so bizarre that I wondered after wards whether or not I could ever do another one. That was many years ago. My job, like that of the people I serve, is also to keep going and to let go. In all types of weather, you have to know how to set the reeds and maintain your instrument. You have to know things like how long to keep playing as the widow leans against her son after casting one last rose upon the casket now nestled in the open grave below. When I pipe for Jewish funerals I stroll behind the slow-moving hearse, playing as it courses a short distance to the grave from the cemetery chapel. The pipes truly belong to all cultures now. Much of the job of piping for funerals is standing patiently and waiting while loving tributes seem to flow like a never-ending stream. It is also my privilege to stand silently while the American flag is crisply folded for one more final presentation, on “behalf of a grateful nation.” Seeing tears does not make me happy, but I am pleased to think that my pipes are really singing well, that I am doing a good thing. At the end, I cradle the pipes in my arms and gently put them back in the case. I close it up, like a little casket that contains what I love so much along with my own memories of this passing moment, this final ‘Goodbye.’
By William W. Don Carlos
New Biodegradable Keepsake Urns
There’s a new biodegradable pod keepsake line that has recently been released by In the Light Urns. These urns are unique because they keep very well if you are going to store ashes in them inside your home or indoors, but if you bury them, they will break down with doing harm to the environment. They are small enough to keep just a portion of a person’s remains and not all cremated remains. These keepsakes for ashes were just introduced to the memorial and funeral industry this week and are a good example of how memorializing a loved one is different for everybody. For more information visit In the Light Urns’ press release, linked above.
Keepsake Jewelry Offers More Than Memories
Today’s cremation jewelry offers many benefits other than keeping your departed loved one in your memory. After a funeral this type of jewelry is comforting when you are down, and is a personal representation of your loved one. The wide variety available today makes it possible for you to find exactly what you are looking for, in design and price. Having an exquisite, special piece of jewelry will allow you to have memories at your fingertips when you need them.
Memorial jewelry is a lovely way to display your adoration and commitment in an outwardly fashion, without others knowing it if you so choose. This jewelry looks like any other beautiful accessory, so only you realize the true meaning it holds unless you share with others. Keepsake jewelry allows you to keep a small portion of the ashes of your loved one, or even a locket of hair or earth from the burial site if you choose. Most jewelry is made so that a special glue secures the memento you choose. Some selections in keepsakes also allow for pictures to be placed inside, or special engraving.
Lockets are especially popular, and beautiful as well. The Rose Heart Gold Locket is made of 12 kt Black Hills Gold, with a delicate leaf detail that is enchanting. You may have a photo of your loved one placed on the right hand side, while a small amount of hair or cremains can be secured to the left side with a non-toxic sealant solution. These may be engraved with a special thought or whatever you like.
Keepsake jewelry is a unique and affordable way to demonstrate the impact your loved one had on your life. You can display your devotion and respect by choosing to wear or keep in your possession a locket, keychain or necklace that is meant to memorialize your loved one. If you are looking for a special gift for a friend who has lost someone very loved and important in their life, keepsake jewelry is the perfect choice and will demonstrate your care and support during a tough time.
Many times, you can choose an exquisite piece that seems to suit the hobbies or interests of a loved one to a “T”. For instance, if your loved one was someone who loved relaxing on the beach, the Palm Tree pendant is a gorgeous sterling silver pendant depicting a palm tree, which will remind you of your beloved each time you look at it.
There are many ways that these are used when a loved one passes. You may wish to display several pieces of keepsake jewelry around a photo of the deceased, or even place a pendant or necklace in the casket if your loved one was not cremated. Most people do use keepsake jewelry to wear and remind them each day of someone they loved so much, but the uses that can be found vary as much as the individuals who invest in these exquisite pendants, necklaces and keychains.
Cremation keepsake jewelry possesses all of the beauty and elegance of regular jewelry, it just holds a much deeper meaning for many.
Urns For Pets Help You Pay Tribute to a Special Friend & Companion
There are many unique urns for pets available that allow you to pay tribute to a beloved member of your family. Losing a pet, especially one you have grown very fond of, can be devastating. Those who don’t own pets often think that grieving over a pet is silly. If they knew how it felt to grow so close to an animal that is 100% loyal, they wouldn’t think it so silly to grieve. The urns for pets that are available today let you choose from many styles and materials. Whether you prefer marble, wood, brass, ceramic or glass, there are many beautiful options, one of which is sure to be the perfect memorial for your pet.
Your pet may have been small and dainty, or large and clumsy. Depending on the breed, pets have personalities of their own. Some are hyper and always on the move, while others are content to lay around snoozing. Animals, just like people, are very unique. Similar to those for people’s ashes, urns for pets, just like those for human ashes, can be displayed wherever you like, or placed somewhere personal. Some are even meant to be used outdoors, in gardens, flower beds and other special areas.
You may think that having an urn sitting in your family room would make you even more sad and depressed. While this may be the case in the beginning, urns for pets often affect you in a completely different way after you have healed from your loss. It’s very common for those who have gotten past the grieving stage to gaze at the urn, and think back on some of the best memories they shared with a pet. Fun times, relaxed times, and even those hilarious times that the whole family was in stitches because of something funny their pet did. Urns for pets not only help you pay your respects to your pet, they help you keep those special memories firmly implanted in your mind forever.
If you are new to the concept of urns for pets, there are a few things you should know. First of all, if you aren’t really comfortable with keeping your pets ashes inside, you can keep some other special memento. You will also find pet cremation jewelry urns, which allow you to keep a small portion of the ashes or other memento inside. Jewelry allows you to keep your beloved pet close to your heart and soul at all times.
Pets are special. They never talk back, love you regardless, and are loyal to a fault. Don’t they deserve special treatment, even in their passing? Urns for pets are the perfect way for you to say “thank you for being my friend, and making my life better.”
How Memorial Jewelry Can Help
Memorial jewelry can be such a wonderful keepsake to remember your loved one. Typically someone will put the cremated remains of their loved one into the piece of jewelry. It is also common to put a lock of hair, crushed flowers from the memorial ceremony or a special memento.
Some of the common mementos that can be put into keepsake are a piece of a special document or the earth where the person is buried. I have seen a piece of a letter that was sent the past put inside a keepsake. This can be used for remembering the person, but more important it can also be inspiration, so that you can feed off the wonderful energy or achievement that this person completed.
Most jewelry is solid. At a store you may find gold or silver jewelry, but many of these cannot be used for a keepsake. For memorial jewelry the item has a space inside for storing something special. This usually is sealed by a screw top, bottom or back. Many of these piece of memorial jewelry cannot house more than one cubic inch. The space inside is quite small and the space to insert the cremains or memento is even smaller. For cremation jewelry you can expect to have a funnel included in your purchase, so that it can be reasonable to insert the cremains. If you do not get a funnel with your purchase, I encourage you to go the local Michael’s Arts and Crafts and pick one. This will make the job much easier. If this job is not for you, it may be a good choice to have another family member insert the cremated remains. And sometimes you can also ask for the funeral home or crematorium to assist you in this process.
There are so many lovely keepsakes to choose from. I suggest having a look around what is on the internet and make sure that you are happy with the look of the item and also the price. Jewelry is a premium item and can easy jump in price. Don’t think because this is a piece of memorial jewelry that it is worth more than it should be. You should always be aware that there are some companies and people that take advantage of people that have lost a loved one. Although there are some people with honesty and integrity and treat you right. Be sure to find the right person, company or funeral home to help you during this difficult time. Thank you for reading.
Donating Your Body or Organs to Science
Growing up in the 50s and 60s we didn’t have much in the way of material things, but we had food on the table, a warm bed and our family. We knew we were not rich and only enjoyed the movies or a night of roller skating, if one of our friends asked. We also knew we were lucky and well off in other ways.
Our parents taught us early on to share. Of course with five children, we had to share. However, I mean a deeper type of sharing. Occasionally a stranger would show up at the door asking for money. My parents had little money, but they would give the person a few dollars and a good meal. They would sit and listen to the story. Sometimes they could help more, by finding a room for rent or a job to help get the person back on their feet.
That sharing became our way of life. One of my brothers volunteers to help other fix their houses. Another has the widest shoulders for people to cry on. My sister was a story teller and loved to engage children in her whimsical imagination. The youngest brother has an open house to anyone who needs a roof for the night. I volunteered as a Girl Scout leader, a tennis teacher and a recreation board member to help our local kids have constructive activities.
Our parents went one step further than any of us could go, yet. They both donated their bodies to scientific research. Our Father sent his body to Cleveland Clinic and Mom’s went to Emory School of Medicine.
One idea that we children had not considered was that the receiving institution did not charge for our parent’s transport to their facilities.
Do we miss having a grave site to visit on their birthdays? No. When we think of our parents we are proud that they continued to help others. Do people criticize us on our choice? Sometimes. But then we feel sorry for those people, because they do not know how to look outside themselves.
As for myself, I have asked my children to donate all my useable parts or donate my physical remains to research. There is a huge need for donated organs. Mine are still working, so why not give someone else a better quality of life? I won’t need my liver (etc.) any more. This would be the ultimate way to share.
Pet Memorial – You Can Have It Anywhere
All through their lives pets only give us all the joy in the world, when we are sad they make us happy and when we are happy they are happy. Their loss definitely creates a huge void in our lives, simply because we get so used to them being part of our daily routine and life. Pet memorials are a great way to honor our pets who have also been our best friends. Pet cremation urns or memorials can be placed in your garden or even in your backyard. This can serve as a memorial and will also help you get over the grieving process quickly.
Pet memorials come in plenty of designs, shapes, sizes, materials and color. It therefore might get a bit difficult to choose the right pet memorial to honor your pet. Your pet’s veterinarian is the best for advice and they will help you decide on what memorial will be fitting for your pet. Pet markers and memorials come in a huge variety and you can choose the one that suits your pets personality or you can even choose a much more traditional and simple memorial that is not very expensive.
You can choose your garden or backyard, or even the pathway to your house to install the pet memorial. Pet lovers usually prefer to choose those particular places that their pets loved to frequent or stay in the most. It could be near a flower bed in your garden or it could even be the spot that they loved to dig the most. This should serve as a good memory of the happy times that you have shared with your pet.
Grave markers and pet memorials are not very huge they can therefore be placed discreetly in your garden. It could be a stone that is engraved with a few lines about the personality of your beloved pet. Pet memorial engravers can travel distances to find a stone that is perfectly unique and engrave it with arty font styles and designs, this is because they understand the emotion behind the loss.
There are also online memorials which help pet owners memorialize their dog or cat. This kind of pet memorial is a fairly new concept and is fast catching on. We are considering a website that will offer these wonderful online tributes to pets. These online memorials let you add pictures of your pet along with a few descriptive words of what your pet was like, or you could even add in a poem. You can upload more than one page and this should allow you to change images of your pet as well. Online pet memorials let you upload videos too, although there is a small one time fee charged since some online space is given to you. There are also wizards that help you design the online pet memorial which are helpful in creating this exclusive concept of honoring your pet.
Pet memorials help you say ‘Goodbye’ to your best friend in a more personalized way. You can arrange these memorials on your mantle, online sites, garden or even the pathway and celebrate the wonderful times shared with your pet companion.
Memorial Jewelry is As Special As The One It Honors
Silver Memorial Jewelry
When you think of memorial jewelry, you may think of something that is ugly, strange looking or simply not attractive enough to be worn frequently, or even every day. Quite the opposite is actually true; cremation jewelry comes in an amazing variety of exquisite materials and designs.
Losing a loved one is tragic. You are often in such grief that you feel that you just cannot cope. Finding a way to hold on to your loved one even though they are gone is sometimes important. Memorial jewelry help you stay connected to your loved one both physically and spiritually. Unique designs allow you to find a special piece that represents the personality, passions and life of your loved one.
All people are unique and have their own special ways of keeping memories of their loved ones alive for as long as possible. For some, it may be photo’s; others hear certain songs that remind them of a special time in the past. Perhaps your loved one kept a diary or journal of sorts that you can occasionally look back through to reconnect. No matter how you decide to gain closure, cremation jewelry is not only something you can keep close to your heart, it is the perfect way to memorialize the one who has gone on to a better place. The Value of a Keepsake discusses more on how this approach helps the grieving process.
Dice Keepsake
Sometimes, whatever you choose to remember your loved one by can closely resonate with their enjoyment in life. For example, suppose your aunt passed away and her most enjoyable times of life were spent in a casino, trying her luck and having a ball. A beautiful Dice Pendant Gold Vermeil Keepsake Urn is an exquisite piece of gold cremation jewelry that would make a fitting memorial to her. Each time you put it on, you would think of the fun she had doing something she so loved, which would give you great comfort.
If keeping a small portion of cremains or other meaningful memento such as a lock of hair is something that you would like, that is possible with cremation keepsakes as well. The beautiful styles and designs that are available mean that you can wear gorgeous jewelry with a special meaning only you know about.
Those you work with or friends you hang out with will never know that the accessories you wear actually hold a very special bond for you and your loved one. So, while you may have thought of memorial jewelry as something strange, it is really quite the opposite – absolutely gorgeous.
Urns for Ashes
Urns for Ashes
The decisions a family faces regarding funeral arrangements when they have lost a loved one are some of the most difficult they will ever face. Even those who choose to plan their own arrangements well in advance of any need to use them still find the task daunting. While the choice of a cremation urn may seem to be a small detail in the overwhelming array of decisions involved, this choice could actually be one of the most important. Because urns for ashes are the one physical representation and memorial of the deceased that will remain as a visual reminder of the deceased long after the funeral services have concluded; the choice of cremation urn that appropriately captures the personality and spirit of the loved one is vital.
Urns for ashes are vases or containers that hold the cremated ashes of a deceased person. When choosing a cremation urn, several important factors should be considered. First among them is size. Some prefer small urns that can be displayed in the home on a mantle or bookshelf while others prefer an urn large enough to contain the remains of more than one person. Often, couples find it comforting to know that their ashes will be intertwined in the same urn once each has died. The main rule to remember is that one cubic inch will house one pound of the person. So that if the person weighed 160 pounds before passing, the urn that will best fit their cremated remains will be from 160-180 cubic inches. This becomes less important when you are purchasing keepsakes and jewelry. Keepsake urns can often hold only 10 cubic inches and it is common for a family to scatter the remains.
Keepsake Urns
Another factor in choosing an urn is the material from which it is made. For those who wish to display the urn long-term in an outdoor setting, metals such as bronze and steel or stones like marble and granite urns for ashes are most common. Conversely, lighter, less sturdy materials like wood or glass are often used for urns that will be displayed indoors. Some families wish to use a decorative urn for display during the funeral services but don’t intend to keep it for long-term display afterward choosing instead to scatter the ashes in some meaningful setting. With the use of biodegradable burial urns made from materials like paper, these families are able to consider the environmental issues involved as well as their desire to honor their loved one.
Perhaps the most difficult decision in choosing a cremation urn deals with its design. Because it attempts to capture the essence of the deceased in visual form, the design of the urn is crucial, and today the choices are endless. They range from the dark-colored traditional vase that has been used throughout history to far more contemporary forms, like baby booties for infants, military equipment for veterans, or sporting goods for athletes, all available in every possible color imaginable. Urns for ashes can now be considered pieces of art like any quality sculpture. Not only are custom-made choices available from artisans who will craft unique designs to the family’s specifications, but more affordable, off-the-shelf options are now available. Because of the creativity the funeral industry has experienced in recent years, imaginative models can now be purchased without the need for custom orders.
Naturally, when families make choices about the size, material, and design for the cremation urn, they must consider price. Too often, families shaken by grief are quick to choose a high-priced option assuming that the more it costs, the better it represents their love and respect for the deceased. But like any other major expense for most people, these choices need to be made on a budget, and simply spending more than necessary because as a response to grief may not be the best way to honor the life of a loved one. The most appropriate way to make a sound decision about how much to spend on an urn is to enter the decision-making process with a maximum amount the family is willing to spend clearly in mind. As they investigate the many options they have, either in person with a funeral sales representative or by themselves online, they should refuse to be swayed into spending more than the price limit they originally decided upon. In this way, they can honor their loved one in a way they can feel good about for many years to come.
 Gold Memorial Jewelry |
 Silver Memorial Jewelry |
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